Thursday, December 04, 2008


Once a way and a way to away round the world with no dirty sole
Twice a trip and a dip and a skip and a tightly spun swirl
Third for a wing and a sing and a bird alight to extol
Four for slight sound, whispers settling down
Fifth flies on to safe, solid bole
Six rests, soft breaths
And seven keeps sleep
Until comes again a once dawn


Wednesday, November 12, 2008

And then it was over

I am finally starting to be back in control of the night time again. Last night I dreamed and it had the potential to be lucid except I declined conscious control. This was for the better.

It was a drawn out dream with many disjointed places and people but most of the people in my high school graduating class and others who left us along the way were there. And they were all this age but as if there had been no disconnect, no graduation and going separate ways and becoming married. Maybe we all had gone away but we still knew each other as if we were together daily.

We were in a bunker of sorts in the mountains outside of a city for a tour and dinner. Mid tour we met the president (who is actually one of the professors at UMB) and I spoke with him for a while. Then we had a really good dinner and were briefed on our mission.

It is one of those classic good versus evil struggles where most of the human populace does not know about the threat and does not care except that they DO NOT want the struggle going on. And if the good guys don't fight the bad guys the bad guys will ruin everything for everyone including the apathetic masses. And we got in to our aircraft that were shockingly like TIE-Fighters from star wars and just as agile. We met our foes (I have no idea who we were fighting? Aliens? Another race? Another country?) outside of the city, with a goal of keeping them from leveling it. There was a chaotic dog fight. They manned stealth bombers and flew in formation making them a solid wall. We flew at random but like a school of fish ever conscious of our proximity to the others so collisions were avoided. They had a distinct leader and plan. None of our pilots was designated leader; we moved as necessary and received suggestions from our base.

We were in control of the fight and they were being pushed back. Then they were running. And we realized that we were being drawn away from the city so that a few could sneak in behind us. I broke off from the chase with two others and met three enemies at the city limits. At first we were chasing them but somehow they looped back around and were chasing us. My ship started losing power and I managed to set it down in an alley by a park where some transient shops were set up. I snuch in to a pot shop and bought a AA battery from the dred-locked hippie who made the jewelry and other merchandise. $3.18 for one AA battery. I remember specifically. But none of the other prices stayed the same or made sense. Thats when I realized I was dreaming. I bought the battery and fired up my ship again. In that time my comrades had been trapped by the three ships and were hovering and spinning nearer and nearer to each other as the other ships closed in. Apparently I had been forgotten and I used that to my advantage. One ship was was sent skittering into a tall sky scrapper shearing off the top 10 floors as it went. Another spiralled down and out of the city into the mountains and the third took off after it with us in pursuit. And then I woke up.

And then it was over.

But TIE fighters run on one AA battery.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Coffee shops close too early

And so one sits at a coffee shop, because a coffee shop seems like a nice place to sit when one has to wait. And it is Peet’s which means it is better than other coffee shops automatically. And it is in Lexington which means that it must be better than a normal Peet’s because zoning prohibits par chain stores from taking up space. And one sips a chai tea that begs to be swum in and slept in and hugged. And since you cannot do these things it does them to you instead.

I have been told that purgatory is a place of waiting. I wonder if purgatory is like a coffee shop. People sitting and waiting and sipping and chatting. And the book club going on mindlessly about some blather that wasn’t worth one reading let alone the nine it received. And the half Goth flirting with the baristas while the obnoxiously toned woman orders skim foam. The classical music piped in overhead being overcome by a ringing phone, a grinder, steaming milk and an oven timer. The people walking by in the half drizzle glaring angrily at you because you are warmer and drier and sipping more chai and they have a place to be and you are just waiting. All of these would drive one mad if one was wont to be driven. But the music is peaceful and the book club monotone and ignorable, the half-Goth awkward and interesting and the passersby colorful. And this is a warm waiting steeped in chai tea. Waiting is far from paradise but there are worse waitings and worse than waitings.

My Christmas cravings are on the shelves here. Myriad warm beverages and the tools to make them. Thermoses with tea infuser baskets. French press travel mugs. Tea pots. Infusers. Mugs. Coffees. Teas. Cocoas. In the moment, holding this chai tea, I cannot imagine anything else I could want for Christmas (except the ever present puppy in my mind). What else could one want for Christmas? Maybe wool hats, wool socks or another alpaca.

AH HA! The half-Goth WORKS here. That explains why he looks so familiar. That and he looks and awful lot like Wayne when you ignore the Goth half. And Makayla the barista not flirted with is now on break working on her novel…or maybe her geography homework. Maybe I should be too.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Desperation Meal

1/2 Package of whole wheat spaghetti
1/5 a package of frozen cream cheese (more or less)
2 cubes frozen basil
4T left over pizza sauce that may or may not belong to you
2 splooshes of milk
a little olive oil
1 can salmon that has an unfortunately strong flavor

Make the spaghetti however. While it is draining in the sink use the already heated pan to try to melt the cream cheese and basil. Add in the pizza sauce when you discover the cream cheese starting to burn. Add in the milk and olive oil when you discover the pizza sauce starting to burn. Mix in the salmon at some point. You end up with this pinkish reddish paste eventually. Mix the spaghetti in with the paste and you have a desperation meal. Actually 2 or 3 of them.

Rating: Borderline tasty. Definitely ok. The salmon flavor is tamed by the other flavors and ends up more like tuna. (MUCH better than trying it with mac n cheese). Mom would still probably gag.


(If I had a gun I would shoot all the gulls because they will NOT SHUT UP. AGH!)

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Tell me a story

I have been writing a lot lately but not for you. At least not for you yet.

In my selfishness I want you to write ME a story.

Yesterday after lunch I was wandering around behind the dorm building setting waders out to dry when I heard a snatch of Jazz music come over the bluff in a wind gust. I figured one of the sailboats had a radio up way too high but then I heard it again. When I climbed up to the balcony porch I could see a guy standing at the waters edge in shorts and a white tee shirt playing Jazz music from a saxophone. He never finished a song, though the little blurts and burst of music were good music. There were other people on the beach further down but no one was paying attention to him. I also don't know how he got there, from some other private access or from the public way about a half mile down the beach but not from our stairs.

I want to know why he was there and all of the other details about him. I have my own version that I am quite fond of and I will share it when I get around to polishing it and making a few lies longer.

(The picture is of where he was standing but at HIGH high tide. He was there at low tide, imagine lots of big rocks and tide pools...less water :P )


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A cormorant's green glass door

Yesterday morning when I awakened the world seemed to end at the bottom of the bluff. Everything had been white washed in a thick fog and the wavelets seemed frozen on the water. There was no definition to any landmark and no horizon line to give the eye perspective. The only visible features in this expanse of nothing were two pointed rocks, holding their heads above the high tide line. They were parallel to each other and slightly skewed from the bluff. Perched atop each rock was a single cormorant, gazing out at the world’s end. It seemed as though they were sentinels entrusted with guarding the passageway to another time or place. If the mighty, bold, or stupid could bring a raft thus far one bird would warn and the other encourage, and both would watch the soul slip through the gateway into danger.

You would have been able to feel the magic in the air. It was breathtaking. Then you would move to quickly to get a better view and get caught up on the air because it didn’t deign to move with you. That’s when you would realize that the world was cloaked not in a cool morning fog or misty after rain but the hanging, deadening cover of humidity that was impenetrable by the sun and impervious to the breeze. This is how magic dies.

I am told that yesterday it got up to 95 F in my area which those who keep track call a record high for the day. And while the previous day was warmer, ringing in at 99 F on my car thermometer, I was no longer in waders and the heat was less morally and mentally deadening. I suppose I should offer some space for the heat turning people stupid, but yesterday four people caught me in casual conversation and asked the same question. “Is it hot enough for you Jenn?” It took everything in my heat stroke damaged mind not to say, “No actually, I don’t start to enjoy myself until it is over 100 degrees and at least 95 F the shade.” This is rude and I did not say it. I told Meghan instead.


Saturday, June 07, 2008

Different Place, Different Weather

The air is still on this side street as it is throughout this history laden town. The dishwasher is keeping time with the traffic, and I cannot hear the sound of my own typing for the sake of it. The steady background hum is occasionally overlaid with a hurried siren or the bwap of a motorcycle speeding up, but the dishwasher chinks dishes in reply.

I have most recently been mixing, mashing and chopping, making a green paste for my supper. Now I am composing for my benefit and consuming the thick salsa for the same reason.

Try this:
4 zabocayo (or avocados or paltas for those otherwise traveled) mashed
1 tomato chopped
¼ a large red onion finely chopped
2 cloves of garlic pressed or minced
Heaps of chopped fresh cilantro
The juice from at least half of a lime
Salt and pepper to taste
Chop, mash, season and stir together. Serve with anything that will scoop including crackers and spoons. It doesn’t keep well so either eat it all or pack it up in the following way. Find the smallest container that will hold all leftovers. Flatten the surface of the mole and cover it with lime juice. Press plastic wrap tight onto the surface and otherwise cover the container. Do not use metal.

Less recently I was painting a living room in the same heat conditions. Earlier in the day you could more clearly see through the hang of humidity; however, sweat chose to flow instead of kindly evaporating. Curiously enough the paint was still drying almost as fast as it was applied. We managed to even out the streaky spots, cover the cracks, and blend all of the dirty shades of Previous Tenant Quick Cover Up into a uniform presentation of Arcadia White. The calming effects of solid color walls are amazing. Before the paint went up I did not realize how stressful and distracting the ugly patches of poorly painted wall mixed with dust bunny dirt were to my eyes. Now if only we could buy the paint for the kitchen to cover up the Smurf-threw-up-on-the-wall paint color testing patches. And maybe procure and air conditioner. That would be good too.


Sunday, June 01, 2008

Promised rain never came...

It is a few past eleven and a storm is rolling in. The winds are building in the tree tops and along the water. Down the bluff there are whitecaps seen by faint glints of light coming from neighboring houses. There is no moon nor are there stars. Unless the tide is out all of the way, water must be crashing against the rocks below, but it can’t be seen.

The storm is coming in fast. Fifteen minutes ago I walked from the other building and it was calm. I was temped to stay longer in the garden to look at the night blooming flowers, but there was an eerie feel to the air. It was not so much a chill in my spine as an overwhelming desire to be back inside. Perhaps the same unsettled energy is what hushed the frogs and halted the chirring of the insects. Or maybe what I felt was heard silence driving me indoors. Regardless, by the time I gathered my laundry and made my way upstairs the wind had begun. Now the sound of it against the cliff face and thrashing through the trees is drowning out the hollow iterations of the fog horn.

Scattered in patches of brush and trees between the well hewn banding trails mother cardinals and other nesters will be huddled against the coming rain. A night like this may promise respite from the dangers of sharp-eyed night fliers. And the rain will compliment the cranberry bogs and their swampy surrounds for the frogs. More water lends time for breeding and frantic tadpole growth. It will also pool in depressions too small for much else but healthy crops of mosquitoes. And while the adults feed on banders and other woods wanderers, they will soon become food for the swift birds, and any young that hatch in deeper water will supplement the diet of tadpoles.

But the rain is not as committed to this night as the wind. No thunder cracks through the trees or against the bluff as yet and no lightning has chosen to highlight the cloud edges. There is still time for the drops above to reconsider falling here before the wind blows itself into stillness. They may merely be waiting for a moment of peace and a vertical fall instead of a complicated, muddling sky dance. Or they may decide this watershed has not issued the proper calling and follow the wind further until they find a suitable resting place. Storms are fond of our befores and linger at our afters but they rarely pause here above us for long if at all. Who can know the mind of the rain? And who can map the lightning’s course?

5/30/08 Manomet

...The winds blew all the same.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Sip it

Some days are just made for nestling in a comfy chair with an oversized mug of tea and reading. Near enough to the windows that you can see the drizzly grey sky and the misty after-rain and watch the droplets race down the panes. Some days require driving to other peoples’ backyards in a van with a broken everything and a distinct potpourri of mixed molds. Then hiking through wet scrub to get to reach extra large puddles that may or may not be filled with special creatures and standing in cold water until you forget what feet feel like. The van was wet, the papers were wet, the range finder was wet, the people were wet, the waders were wet and the pools were dry-almost. I still don’t want an office job thanks.

My partner at arms is headed back to the frozen North on Sunday and today was my first day without training wheels. It also appears that my fearless leader has been incapacitated for maybe a week and unknown quantity = intern Matt comes on Monday afternoon. But I got a birthday pie, a grad school acceptance email, a perfect little spitfire birthday present, a jar full of tadpoles and planarians, left over Thai food for breakfast and a 14 year old kid who wants to volunteer with us. After we bailed when the rain started again I spent some time pretending to band birds (which I will do more of on Monday while waiting for intern Matt). Tomorrow should look like whales and sweet, sweet laziness.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

That time of year

My friends here follow bird calls- they are mostly banders by trade. They seem to know every which mating noise and from whence and who it came. And yes you wonder how such a small beastie could make such a big racket. But birds are flying machines and they are made to hold a lot of air- maybe it isn't so crazy that they could cause a ruckus.

But I follow a different set of romance songs. First and always it is the peepers. Then the wood frogs, then the green. Now the tree frogs and the American toads. Peepers are the smallest frogs around but they consistently make the biggest noise. Unfortunately they all sound the same on the surface except for the occasional excited trill. Wood frogs sound more like ducks and while tree frogs sound happy their burbles don't exactly inspire. My favorite songs emanate from the toads. Long echoing trills stretching in to minutes and all toads at a different pitch and timing harmonizing with each other. But I guess this makes sense too. Honestly if you want to get some action, you need to sound fantastic if you look like a Bufo.

"I have always liked frogs. I liked them since before becoming a zoologist, and nothing I have had to learn about them since has marred the attachment. I like "looks" of frogs and their outlook. And especially the way they get together in wet places on warm nights and sing about sex." -- Dr. Archie Carr

Monday, April 07, 2008

Jn has a Job and 2/3 of a place to live

This post is for the uninformed which is most of my friends because I suck and the last week was also crazy busy. So was the week before that.

Two Wednesdays ago I had a phone interview about a job I had already kissed goodbye because it was supposed to have already been a week underway. Thursday I got coffee and then my motorcycle permit with JJ (I completely forget now why he is JJ in shorthand but I remember that he is). Later that day I got a call while buying high quality produce at Wilson Farms after visiting with the super pregnant, buck-toothed llama and the 2 super pregnant goats who like to bite chickens because I was locked out of my boyfriends house on the day before corned beef and cabbage day which I guess makes it the 27th and this a run on sentence. Regardless, they wanted me and I wanted that job more than any other job I have applied to during my lengthy term of unemployment. As I mentioned they intended to start work before they interviewed me which means they wanted me a week ago then...or about 2.5 weeks ago now which will be this Wednesday. We start from behind and race against time.

One Wednesday ago the Red Queen drove up from her castle in PA to help me pack (and go to a hockey game, a book store, an ice cream stand, and a reptile show-things that NEEDED to happen in order to pack properly I swear). We (NP included) shuffled most of my belongings in to a 5x10 storage room since I now have furniture and can't keep everything I own only in my car. However, it says in big letters on the wall in the office that you cannot sleep or cook or really have any fun at all in the storage space so this does not count as a place to live. The stuff I will actually need or desperately want to have with me is in Catsby who is reluctantly about 1/3 of a place to live. I will sleep in a dorm for the summer with 3 other people hence the other 1/3 of a place. We finished mopping the floor and cleaning out the fridge this morning and RQ and Gurgles were on the road this morning at 8am.

The Job:
I am working for the Manomet Center for Conservation Sciences and I am doing this. If choose not to follow the link here is a summary. I will drive around to vernal pools on privately held lands in the Taunton and Charles River watersheds and them for presence/absence of animal species, test salinities, and take water samples that will be tested for fertilizers, pesticides, and road chemicals at another lab. The goal is to hit roughly 100 pools twice between now and when the pools dry up around mid June. Then I will hopefully get to help crunch numbers for data analysis. You should still chase the link because it has cool pictures and a video describing the project. They run out of funding to pay me in mid July sometime, at which point I move back to the north shore or someplace else and reacquire my belongings and a black and white cat.


Thursday, April 03, 2008

Variations on a Mango- Updated Recipe

2 Large Ripe Mangos, cut in to pieces
2-3 Peaches, cut in to pieces (Optional)
Peach schnapps
Trader Joe's Multigrain Biscuit mix
Farm Fresh Whole milk
Vanilla Ice Cream

Cut up the fruit and put it in a bowl. Soak liberally with schnapps and let the fruit bits get thoroughly inebriated. Make the biscuits according to the package (Oil, Milk, donno what else or in what proportions sorry) and add about a half of a cup of sugar (I didn't add the sugar I wish I had). Sprinkle with cinnamon and a little sugar before baking. After the fruit has floated for a few hours dish it in to bowls over ice cream with a warm, wonderful biscuit. If you make enough you can have the same thing tomorrow night too. Bonus!

Friday, March 28, 2008

Some of these events occur in the future

1. I have a job for the summer and I am super stoked. 2. Yesterday was seriously the best day ever. 3. I bought corned beef and company for St. Patrick’s Day and never made it because I joined a Pub Crawl instead. Today is try-to-make-this-meal day and I have included the recipes for your perusal and future use should you choose to trust my culinary skills. Like most of my recipes what follow are compilations of other recipes modified for my good pleasure.

Tonight’s Menu:
Corned Beef and Cabbage (Made following the Ideal or Real World recipe depending on your particular universe)
Horseradish, Chive, and Dill Sauce
Farm Fresh Marbled Rye Bread
Farm Fresh Whole Milk (from a glass bottle)
Dessert- Variations on a Mango

Ideal World Corned Beef and Cabbage:
5-6 Whole carrots cut in large chunks
10-15 Small red potatoes halved
1 Med onion cut in wedges
1 Small Cabbage cut in wedges
1 hunk corned beef (~ 3 lbs)

Enough water to cover the goodness
2 T apple juice

3 Garlic cloves minced
2 Bay leaves crushed (3 small)
3/4 T cracked black pepper corns
1 t Thyme
1 t Paprika
1 t Yellow mustard seeds
½ t Whole coriander
½ t Allspice
¼ t Celery seeds
Pinch of crushed red pepper

Wonk the beef into the crock pot and surround him in with the friendly carrots, potatoes, and onion. Mix the spices with the apple juice and about 2 C of water and pour it over the pot contents. Add enough water to cover the beef and most of the veggies. Cook on high for 2 hours then drop to low heat for 7 hours. Add the cabbage about an hour before you plan to eat (sooner if you like it mushy).
Prep time: about 15 Minutes
Cook time: 9 hours

Real World Corned Beef and Cabbage
(Same ingredients list as Ideal World Corned Beef and Cabbage)

Start preparation at least an hour late because of weird weather causing traffic and talking to your mother. Realize that you left necessary spices at home. Wonk the beef in the crock pot and add the veggies. Add 3 cups of water and turn on high. Make a shopping list (Bay leaves, thyme, paprika, mustard seed, whole coriander, allspice, celery seeds, rye bread, sour cream, chives, whole milk in a glass bottle). Go to Wilson Farms amid hail and rain. Stare at spices for at least 15 minutes. Fail to find yellow mustard seed. Marvel at the size of the snowflakes that are now falling. Discover that pickling spice is primarily mustard seed and coriander. Purchase contents of basket. Walk out of the store into freezing rain. Return to store to purchase a chilly, red tulip and save it from the nastiness. Walk out of store into non-freezing rain that changes to ice pellets half way across the parking lot. Drive home. Place tulip on the window sill between the sprouting white onion and the wee prickly pear cactus. Begin to mix spices. Have an Oh Shit moment over the mustard seed pickling spice dilemma. Dump half of the pickling spice into an empty bay leaf container. Remove the cap from a curry container because it has smaller-than-whole-coriander sized holes. Hold the cap over the now pickling spice container because it is too small to fit securely. Shake mustard seeds and other riff-raff spices into a bowl. Measure out the soloized coriander from the make shift shaker and dump the excess back into the package. Gently shake the bowl containing the remainder of the spices to group the mustard seeds. Tip the bowl slightly to take advantage of gravity and the round properties of mustard seeds. Scoop separated mustard seeds into a 1 t measuring spoon using an inverted ¼ t measuring spoon. Repeat mustard seed separation process until the 1 t spoon is full or madness ensues. Return the riff-raff spices to the original package. Finally add spices to the crock pot two hours after starting the heating process. Eat lunch. Mix sauce to serve with the beef. Type up “improved recipe.” Discover that the tulip is so pleased by its current company and the warmth of the kitchen that it has bloomed. Leave on high for 3 hours total then turn temperature to low. Realize you failed to add the apple juice. Add the apple juice. Add the cabbage just before leaving to pick up your significant other from the train station. Eat when you are too hungry to wait any more.
Prep time: about 2 hours
Cook time: approximately 7 hours

Horseradish, Chive, and Dill Sauce
1 carton (8 oz) of sour cream
1 T prepared horseradish
2 T chopped fresh chives (Use the kitchen shears. It is more fun and faster)
½ t Dried dill
Combine ingredients in a bowl and stir well. Chill. x1 Bonus Multiplier: Return the contents to the sour cream container for storage. (This stuff is really good. I have no clue how it will actually taste with dinner but if it is not a good corned beef pairing is makes one hell of a good veggie dip.)

Variations on a Mango
2 Large Ripe Mangos
.:I will get back to you with the rest of the details when I figure out what the hell I am actually going to do:.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

It's quite sunny today by comparision

I ride the train. Other people ride the train. To note this fact is unnecessary. People have private cars, boats, jets, and even busses. Trains are for sharing. I ride the train.

I watch people. I listen. People interest me, their mannerisms, movements, modes of speech. In my opinion this is a better way of investigation than studying by nose. This is possible and it is done. Some do this as a vocation and call it research. Some have a passion. Some just have a misfortune.

Yesterday dulled the eyes and muffled sound. Yesterday chose to force scents. On train one a person nearby gave off the essence of cooked celery. Train two featured someone with the air of stale soup. Free Shuttle Bus air was overcome with the pungent and vibrant scent of ginger (as in fresh cut or candied- notably eatable, not a lotion or perfume). While this was a more pleasant olfactory gift, none of these smells mesh with the nature of a morning, albeit a bustling city morning. I think I would be more accepting or at least less begrudging of these intrusions on my personal space if the odors fit better with the time of day. Before 10:30 or maybe even 11 a day should have traces of syrup and coffee with perhaps some cinnamon or maybe citrus if it must carry a scent in the first place.

A home-bound train paused respectfully at South Station while another sluiced by on shared track. When I joined this train, one of my concomitants spread odors of soggy bread. I mention South Station specifically because during the wait at this junction a youth boarded the train and sat beside me. He deemed it socially necessary to cover whatever natural essences he might carry with his person in a cloak of cologne. The overzealous powers of his scent dampened the influences of any others in my vicinity for several hours afterwards. Perhaps he should be thanked, but at this point it can only be speculation. In fact, the only reason the prior soggy-bread air even remains in my memory is visual impression left on me by the smell bearer. It was unclear which of the people across from me actually held the mantle, but it was either the aged, nearly hairless woman with wan blue eyes or the aged Chinese man with mismatched leg warmers who was worried by the aforementioned woman. Both characters looked like they might be composed, at least in part, of moistened bread. Of all the day’s olfactory twinges, this one was not unnatural. It fit not only in excerpt (because of the physical presence of the bread beings) but also in the context of the whole day.

You may question my last assertion, for when does a damp loaf ever fit a day unless children feeding ducks is involved. Honestly though, it was just a soggy bread day. A cold but thankfully light rain came down on and off but always at a slant. People were walking in a stooped hurry with the speed of their bustle unrelated to the actual time and staring doggedly at the ground as if the concrete or pavement might share some secret of how to better resist the wind if their gaze pierced deep enough. The pigeons were also damp and malcontent, huddling in fluffed masses under eves amid the failed anti-pigeon measures. The only dry pair in the city, an iridescent and importunate groom and his antipathetic bride, reside in North Station and are therefore exempt from paying a weather tax. Surveying the day by eye, ear, and nose, one gets the impression that even a fine loaf of French bread would be flaccid at least in spirit and wonders if the crackers being tossed at the nuptial pigeons were really as crisp as their heritage scrolled on the package claimed them to be.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Some people need an IQ boost

Nick showed me this today.

Gravity: Doesn't exist. If items of mass had any impact of others, then mountains should have people orbiting them. Or the space shuttle in space should have the astronauts orbiting it. Of course, that's just the tip of the gravity myth. Think about it. Scientists want us to believe that the sun has a gravitation pull strong enough to keep a planet like neptune or pluto in orbit, but then it's not strong enough to keep the moon in orbit? Why is that? What I believe is going on here is this: These objects in space have yet to receive mans touch, and thus have no sin to weigh them down. This isn't the case for earth, where we see the impact of transfered sin to material objects. The more sin, the heavier something is.

I can sum it all up in three words: Evolution is a lie

several million years for a monkey to turn into a man. oh wait thats right. monkeys dont live several million years.

For more check here.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

No title. Bah.

As soon as I am healthy Ima buy myself some flowers.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Avoid the Plague

Warning: This post is largely about the Norovirus of Death

I am slouching here writing because I am afraid of my soup. I am slouching because I can no longer lay down without going crazy but if I sit up any further it will take much longer to catch my breath. I am also out of breath. I am out of breath because I heated up half a can of vegetable soup donated by my ever-caring neighbor, soup which I am now afraid of. It’s not exactly that I am afraid of eating the soup, it’s the re-eating that’s not so pleasant and more fear inducing. (If the thought of reeating soup makes you queasy you might want to skip to the last paragraph and save yourself some pain.)

If you would like some graphic back story, on Monday at almost exactly 1530 and without even a remote bit of warning I became violently ill in one direction and shortly proceeded to be violently ill in the other direction with little enough time in between to maintain body hydration at an even barely reasonable level. My friend Murphy was around to hold my hair back while I expulsed the contents of my stomach, which is to say that with a toilet and 2 garbage cans in front of me I managed on more than one occasion to hit none of these and had to change clothes and wash a few rugs today when I could finally stand for more than two minutes. (This also makes me out of breath.)

On a positive note I am no longer afraid of the substance that would normally make up 70% of my body and ice cubes are not the coolest and most life saving thing ever invented. I don’t need the crazy cat to wake me up every hour and a half to have a few sips of water lest I slip into unconsciousness (which he strangely, lovingly, and punctually did all Monday into Tuesday). I have conquered my fear of crackers and I will eventually try this whole soup substance. Right now I am content to glance at it cynically and suspiciously out of the corner of my eye.

I also managed to do something today that no one should really ever have to do. When you are a kid your mom or dad takes care of it and when you are in college you have a roommate and when you are old enough (but not yet smart enough) and get drunk enough there is usually someone there smarter than you or you are at someone else’s house and you sort of leave it in their shower for their mom to find and fix. I have a friend who found the rose bushes outside of the Whitehouse to be a convenient self-clean-up free location. I have cleaned up after sick friends, cohorts, and campers and oddly in this one instance of nasty ex-bodily fluids, I feel that it is so much more demoralizing to deal with your own than anyone else’s. You clean up mine, I’ll handle yours. No one should ever have to clean up their own vomit, especially if they are still sick.

By the way, the soup (and everything else that isn’t red bush tea) tastes awful. But I have Murphy tied up and gagged in my like-a-closet and so help me this soup will be properly digested. I am done with little virus demons.

Special shout outs to the neighbor who checked on me whenever possible, strongly encouraged the hospital (advice which I did not listen to mostly because I had no carriage to take me), gave me soup, etc. and to the friend who found me ginger ale as soon as he got off work and drove to the hinterlands to deliver it.

Friday, January 04, 2008


Currently bewildered
Currently unemployed
Currently enjoying the rampant honesty of the Burnside Writers Collective.

I wonder if they'd take me.

Special notice to the 151 psalm.