Saturday, May 21, 2005

Well, it'd be sort of like shootin' a mocking bird, wouldn't it?

"I try to give 'em a reason, you see. It helps folks if they can latch onto some reason. When I come to town, which is seldom, if I weave a little and drink out of this sack, folks can say Dolphus Raymond's in the clitches of whiskey- that's why he lives the way he does."

"That ain't honest, Mr. Raymond making yourself out badder'n you are already-"

"It ain't honest but it's mightly helpful to folks. Secretly, Miss Finch, I'm not much of a drinker, but you see they could never, never understand that I live like I do because that's the way I want to live."

In the spirit of the book I was just reading (which is all about learning about people, and solid Daddy advice as far as I am concerned). . . A bit of me.
When I was a kid, sometime after Jess and after I had some ability to process but before my mental timeline really kicked in, I was having a chat with my daddy. It was something along the lines of how I was better or stronger than some person and how great that made me as a person. I was puffing myself up as only little kinds can about something I didn't really know a thing about. My dad pretty swiftly replied with something along the lines of, "You are always be stronger than someone but there will always be someone stronger than you too." My little kid brain was spinning for some sort of witty remark but I was basically deflated. I went away pretty sullen but I never forgot it.
So tonight I have been running through memories in my head and connecting dots. It's like making me share with my sister. And like when the red-head (who I was madly in love with until that point and who was at least a foot taller than me) threw my shoe over the fence with the cows and Dad caught him and threw him over after it. Or when we got those bikes and played Santa on Christmas Eve. It's all about you remembering your proper place but then it's also about you helping others see theirs too. Giving the broken back some dignity, reminding the high and mighty how easy it is to break and giving second chances to those who ask (and something those who don't) because damn wouldn't you like it if someone did the same for you.
With that I am too tired to go to bed, and too tired to do otherwise. I bid you all goodnight.

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