two unlinked thoughts

...which happen to be like unlinked protiens in that they are both unlinked but that is really all...

I haven't posted in a while. Not exactly because there weren't things to talk about in the moment. Just that I never had time in the moment and out of the moment if there was time there wasnt a computer or maybe there weren't words. So tonight I am supposed to be writing a diatribe on a book that I strongly dislike and I am 'talking' here instead.

The good Dr. B. has been talking to me lately about writing opinions for the Tartan (school paper) a prospect that bohers me of oh so many reasons. Apparently I have a lot of opinions and apparently I like to share them, maybe a little too much (indicated by my talking priviledges being revoked). So her goal is to get me out of talking and into doing something productive. But the Tartan scares me because everyone reads it and everyone is always hyper-critical of everything that was written and everyone that wrote. It bothers me less that people will attack my opinions because that rarely happens. What is more likely is that they will attack me and while I do not mind and can hold my own in personal coversations I don't think I fair well nor do I desire to argue about my virtues or the apparent lack in print. So she is trying and I am skirting the issue. Maybe the Wittenburg Window because people rarely use it this early in the year and perchance it will be ignored by the masses and only read by the people who care enough to pay attention. It feels slightly safer. The other aspect that is being worked on is what is my actual point. I can't just wildly disagree with everything I need to have good reasons and stand up for them or alternately choose to agree very much with whatever redeeming qualities are there and try to flesh them out. That is not a normal mindset. Thursday Shuff sorta threw a little light in my direction. He called me a rebel without a cause and said I am just walking around looking for causes to fight for. He isnt really wrong I guess. Just give me something that bothers me even a little and I can make it bigger or catch me on a particular style of day and we can battle. I am just pugnacious. More so lately than I remember formerly. Maybe its cause I feel more sure of myself or care less about looking like a fool or maybe I am just more jaded and easier to bother (though I very rarely every wore rose colored glasses) Maybe its just that I have more energy at my disposal to do the fight picking or that I just needed a break coming out of highschool. But the problem still stands that I can't just be annoyed by everything. I need to work on direction. And maybe writing for some kind of public forum. Maybe.

In other news apparently our house has started a new sort of ministry. We house alcohol for campus types who cannot house it themselves and then have them over for a little stress relief on weekends. I don't know exactly how that one works theologically but I dont exactly mind. Peoples just need a place to get away from what ails them sometimes and for most people of my genre it has something to do with the campus (either THE MAN, classes, a boyfriend or a crappy TA job) so you give them a little corner of the house. Honestly what else does one have a house for if not to share it with other people. In reality what is the point of being a person if its not for other people. I don't mean being used or anything. My current ideas along these lines is that if you surround yourself with enough Good People and pretend you aren't real proud you will end up getting filled up with goodness so you never run out. Thats the idea anyways and I have collected enough good people that it seems to be working. Its nice to have people to give to also because then you dont start to feel stale and crustly. So I have a good job that I like very much which lets me buy food and gas and helps me pay for rent type things and I have a lot of opinions and an open sort of mind when I want to and I like to hear/see/taste people think which means I like to listen. I have a lot to give if people want it and I want to give, but then again I am no gonna force it on anyone. That makes everyone kinda bristly and unpleasant. So send me your wayward and wandering souls, those seeking peace or dinner or bed. I can't promise reform or perfect quiet, but the food should be eatable and the bed nice and warm and I can promise that I will do my best.

In other news I went to the fair, I got really sick, I got better in a step sorta way, 4 helped me change my oil, I went to a Philipians dinner at Dextah compliments of Kt, my computer found itself a virus and is currently residing at the campus computer hospital, the current band of 'us' took shuffles out for his 21 (yay everyone finally being a proper age) I manned the bio room of the science fair (in which my igg's were a highlight) all by myself because the entire departement is a bunch of lazy ass losers (there we go with opinions again. Some people had good excuses. But most people had none other than maybe- I thought someone else would do it. Some people- or everyone since there was no one- decided not to show up. So in reality there are about 10 people I am not actually angry with. There I have become less randomly violent about it.) I went to a kick-bottom concert for in to support a good portion of the 'us', a crazy band of overly stressed persons came over to our house to play and I went to church were I got to meet 4's cats as it is the day of St. Francis and pets get blessed. I didnt bring the igs cause they were stressed out from stardom the day before and it was more than a little chilly for their metabolisms. These are the weeks worth of events that were worth noting and maybe at one point deserved more words but now will get none.

This week we are housing a campus visitor/friend/camper of 5L for I don't know how many days and Quad break starts Thursday. That means everyone sorta scoots to some exotic off campus location and I sit in DPS more often than usual doing (hopefully) less dispatching and more homeworking than usual. The Red Queen is lost in Idaho until further notice and I do not wish that I was there because I am enjoying the misty/rainy/less colorful than it could be NE fall even as much as it is a warning of winter and I am already cold. Sorry queen mum.

Now to find some positive aspect about a book for fairness sake and then procede in describing different methods of employing flame.

-Jn