Remember this and remember how much I truly do love these people and how excited I am to live with them? Yeah. Remember how much fun we have together hanging out and being stupid and how much I loved spontaneous parties in the penthouse? Yeah. Remember the time grandma told me I WOULD be going to my graduation and I WOULD be walking across the stage and she WOULD be there? Yeah. Remember how she and my grandpa are dying from too many long years of cigarettes and booze and they won't be attending because they just can't make the trip? Yeah. Remember how I gave up alcohol for lent and didn't cheat once and found more creative ways to deal with my stress to prove that I wasn't an alcoholic and didn't actually have a problem? Yeah. Remember how that is one of my buttons, me and alcohol because I pay very close attention and am very cautious because I know my family history and I respect myself? Yeah. Remember how much it sucks when you and a friend clash at the core and you can't look them in the eye because whatever you see will hurt? Yeah. Remember how cold and lonely it is on the outside when you are too tired to play the games and not perky enough join in with other people? Yeah. Remember how finals are over and graduation is in 3 days and then summer starts and I get to live with some amazing people and do some of my favorite things in the world and how exciting that is? Yeah. Remember the last time I was truly, deeply happy?....I don't either.