So the past 2 nights in a row I have had a good long chat with a friend. One friend was the well weathered type and the other is still new enough to have the fresh paint smell. Both of them are guys. I just like guys better. I know a million reasons why but I can't wrap them in words. I think thats ok.

On an unrelated note (whether you believe me or not that it is unrelated) we are talking about breasts and penis size in my sociology class. Its crazy funny to watch the class when he says 'sketchy' words. Then he points out people who squirm which makes it that much more interesting. And even better is the fact that the whole thing is being turned around to an animal and evolutionary perspective. That means some other people who are penis tolerant are still freaking out. Did he use the term evolve? Does that mean he is still a christian? And I am just sitting back and loving it. People are funny. I like to watch people. I really like to watch people squirm.

One more little class bit and I am done. In animal phy we are talking abotu blood and circulation and all of that good stuff. Our prof mentioned that he bought 2 frogs for the lab and they were tiny and cute and he thought we were probably going to have to dissect them to get the blood. Pretty much in one breath just like that only with the smile that says isnt that wicked cool. And some girls from around the way looked a little queasy. Mind you these are also the girls who turned green when I mentioned that saran wrapping a salamander is a bad idea. I understand that some people are really visual. I am too. But the key is to not get freaked out by things that wont actually ever happen. Or to just not freak out. A saran wrapped salamander, though it would be suffocating, would still look pretty cool. Somewhere I lost my point. Anyways I volunteered that I had frogs in the pool out back that were gonna die anyways. (Yes these are the frogs that I was feeding earlier this summer- I still am in fact) So I was commissioned to catch a few frogs and bring them in for show and tell. Meaning I will show them to Dr. Story and he will tell me which one we are gonna kill then show me how to kill it and tell me how to get the blood. The only problem is I got this killer headache playing with the lubricant in theatre cause its nasty stuff and I forgot to grab the necessary implements of destruction like a net and buckets. I remembered when I got home. Fortunately LL has a lot of buckets. I swapped into shorts and went wadding without waders into the mucky nastiness out back becasue i didnt really have another option. Did you know that frogs are fast? And that they swim really well? And that they can stay underwater for a long time? The only reason I ended up with frogs is because I am luck and there are (were) at least 13 frogs in a small space. But its pretty frustrating when they come to rest under the water and they are on your feet. I will get a picture of them tonight if I remember and maybe of them tomorrow only I think the squeamish might not enjoy that.

And now for stolen words. . . I have a poem kicking around in my head but it just wont come out. I have tried force and gentle persuasion but I havent switched to the rewards tactic. I might go that direction tonight we will see. Until then:

Well, it gets so hard to smile
when you're only twenty-one.
When you know that it's all over
though it seems you've just begun.
The laugh tracks cannot cover
those last tracks that you laid.
Not the life that you had asked for
but the life that you have made.

You can find the rest if you click on that happy little link to the right that says travelin ed. He apparently doesnt travel anymore but he rambles. A lot. Eventually I will get around to getting around to changing things on here. But it takes a while to go round especially when you know you will have to do it again.

Froglegs out-Jn

The ride home

Elegy (8/30/05 - Catesbiana)

Jaded
Degraded
Fading...fading...faded away
Compose me in a memory
A half-assed elegy
What will the words be?
I just almost made it
But hey-this is me.

-Jn

Pictures

So I got the web site for Arock's pictures finally. I would post the link but I havent gone through to see if they need to be censored yet. I will let you know. And I have been writing lately but the problem is it is usually when I am driving or in class in such a way that I cannot actually tie the words down on paper. So parts and chunks are always escaping capture and it isnt really working out for me. I will get something out to you soon though. Honest. For now (if it works) here is potentially my favorite shot from the trip. . .


If it doesnt work just click on it and hope for the best. -Jn

Orange you glad...

Today was a pretty damn good day. It took me until dinner time to figure out why. See when I get up at 3 I just sorta throw clothes on and hope that I dont miss any important pieces and that just maybe I will match. Turns out I picked up a pair of orange underwear today from the pile and if you didnt know, the goodness of the day is directly proportional to the orangeness of the underwear.

EM was an idiot and completely forgot to come to animal phys which meant I had to be all intelegent and ask thought provoking questions instead of just being my whitty and obnoxious self but I survived ok. I ate lunch with JH infront of my house (Emery=the bio building) and talked to a million random people that walked by. Today was the first Bio Club Tea which translated into cookout today and after classes were done I went to help out as I am one of the 3 presidents and it seemed like a good idea. I met up with EM to basically run around and cause chaos while we got stuff ready. We also re-faced (instead of defaced) a campus notice. It is so nice to be a senior. I ran around the cookout pretending I was an extrovert and that I really liked people to meet all of the freshmen. I think I am rather intimidating when I function in that capacity but I had a Dr. B mandate so I went. I met another 2n Jenn which brings the department up to 3. Always an improvement. And Levy invited me over to the chem cookout because I am a friend of chemistry which meant that in addition to eating bio club dinner I got Chemistry dinner which is some of the most amazing food I have ever eaten. . . always is. Also did I mention that I am dropping a class to an audit which is nice because I have less work to do, I am at 12 credits, I get to do an independent study with the good Dr. B. later this sem, and a friend can now join the class. Oh yeah and Lz bought me ameretto tonight because I have been craving it since I got back from Peru. Like I said it was a good day. Tomorrow I get to play with set. That should be good as well. mmm. . .

I think the muse is more recovered from the parasite so tonight might be a good night. We will have to see. . .

-Jn

Mental vomit

This is very much like purging my soul. Let me spit out all of the little bits and pieces so that they don't rot inside of me. A rush of poetry, old and new, to excersize the demons that overstimulate the muse. Then maybe I can sleep tonight so that I can work tomorrow. Unless this plan backfires and the muse just torments me that much more.

This one is complicated. ALl of the pieces go together and belong together at least right now but I cannot make them sit in an ordered row. They all exsist together at the same time and the only reason they end up linear is because paper and computers make words function in that way. I might split the pieces up later but you will just have to wait for that. I put it in the best linear order i could come up with but feel free to shuffle in your head. Everytime I read it, I move chunks around again.

Rabbit Hole Thoughts

Spin the world once
How pale is my face?
I haven't seen the light
In a fist full of days

I am tearing down towers
Faster than I rebuild
Reusing broken pieces
Not minding the sick tilt

The world is just a name
I play my life as a game
And all that matters
Is the mad hatter
And his tea parties in the rain

I guess I missed the point
Maybe the swords too small
Or maybe when it comes like this
There is no point at all

But these thoughts just won't wane
I'm so sure I'm to blame
And the ways and the means
Are just dueling queens
Trying to run themselves lame

I've stepped off from reality
I don't know which way is down
I was sinking toward the bottom
But I thought I'd be there by now

(08-24-05 Ipswich)

Peruvian Leftovers

Moving Restless (08-31-05 Bus to Puerto Maltanado)

Trijillo to St. Augustine
Puerto Maltanado to San Juan
I know you'll never catch me
I dont know if you care that I'm gone

So much for well meant intentions
And truth turned into lies
The old city walls still stand
But everything crumbles with time

So I will keep on moving restless
Always hoping to forget
All trace of you in a new place
But it hasnt happened yet



The Airport (08-28-05 Newark Airport)

You bought me a beer in an airport bar
There must be some romance there
Just give me half a chance...
I'll dig it out

Some casual chat and we're on the same plane
There must be some destiny there
A second or two...
I'll find it

You touch my hand as you pass in the isle
There must be some sweetness there
A moment of pause...
I'll let you know

My boyfriend greets me with a long kiss
There must be some cheating there
I dont think...
I'll give it a look



Don't worry, there are still a few more between the teeth waiting to be dredged back out.- Jn

The hurting heart sent writing

Sometime between work and class lost in thought in the penthouse (its rough folks). . .


A thousand shards of glass

A thousand words
For every thousand tears
A thousand glass shards shimmer

A perfect picture
For the perfect life
Shattered on the hardwood floor

A beautiful end
For a beautiful disaster
Just look how the pieces glimmer

An infinte curse
For an infinite betrayer
He doesnt love me anymore


And now to Gillies to skip chapel with the best of them. Expect many more in the next few days, I just need to quit forgetting my magic book of colors. -Jn

It's Been

(Me and Kt, the roommate who isnt a roommate anymore but always will be, standing outside of Dextah, the house that used to be mine, on the first day I was back in MA before I was showered and presentable again because Kt loves me anyways.)

It is crazy to think how long I actually was gone, first from school and people I care about but havent seen for ages and this little bubble I call my home on the North Shore and just how much time I spent out of the states this summer. The weirdest thing is how the time changes effect you. Like I am running on peruvian time which isn't completely devoid of appointments but we were never on time for anything and it was always ok. And even though I am easily distracted it never caused too much of a problem because I always got around to doing what I needed to do eventually. I didnt have to keep so focused on stuff. Stuff happened when it happened. But yeah in 2 days I will have to check myself in to classes and be places on time. I dont know if I can do it.
And then the days are a fairly rigid 12 hours 6 to 6 in Peru but here it stays light until way later which means I dont slow down until way later so I am all kinds of screwed up. But I guess even if I dont reset myself the planet will do it for me cause days are getting shorter here and an alarming rate and soon there will be like 2 hours of sunlight if it isnt snowing. Then I will be a different variety of all screwed up . Sigh.

I tend to enjoy some of the priviledges and pleasures that come from living in the states but I honestly enjoy the south/central american attitude so much better. Arocks and I already have plans for running away to a monkey preserve next summer and maybe country hopping in the process. Graduation present? It is a good dream anyway. No one would send either of us because everyone knows we wouldnt come back. I never intended to come back from Peru in the first place and I'm still not entirely sure how I got here. I just have to keep telling myself, 2 semesters to go and then I can go anywhere. . . or everywhere. . . but at least Peru. There was a point to all of this but I lost it somewhere in the ramble so I guess find your own. But now I have to go about the business of getting ready for classes. I am not done with trip stories in my mind but I probly wont post much more except for the poems. Thats why I really have this blog anyways though so I dont feel too bad.- Jn

Trip

On the bus from Cuzco to Pt Maltonado sometime around 8am.

The Bus to Cuzco
(7/31/05 the bus ride from Cuzco to Pt. Maltonado)

This too shall pass
This bus and the daze gone by
Night fades to drink to sick sunrise morning
I am on the bus to Cuzco
Where I can again leave you behind
Except in the dark corners of my tired mind
Where every love steeped touch
Is etched beyond erase
And those lonely nights in strangers arms
Serve only to remind
Of what you really took away

-Jn

Strange

Reshaped skulls (Nasca or Inca I think) in a museum in Lima


The jump of the monk at a discotec/resturant on the coast outside of Lima.


A roving catepillar horde on one of the transects.


Dead bird pirate ship in an Italian resturant.

What a long

The Jungle Party Bus before we left it in Pt Maltonado.

So here is the deal, I left the house at about 10 on the 28 of July and got back here around 2:30 on the 20th which puts the total trip time at about 23.5 days. Only about 7.5 of those days (instead of 2 weeks) were actually spent up river on the research station meaning 16 ended up travel/tourist days. Most of the travel days included some sort of touristy activity and all of the touristy days included travel. See the problem was that our tickets from Lima to Pt. Maltonado were sold to the highest bidder or something very much like that so instead of being shipped air freight to the river we had to take a bus. . . more like 3 with some van time. I drove down to CCSU and got a ride to the airport, met up with everyone and flew to Newark to meet a few straglers, then we flew on an overnight flight to lima and got in early. we had to blow a day in lima waiting for the bus that went to Cuzco to leave at 6pm which turned out to bemore like 7 or 8. Lets just say more than one person got drunk on the bus and more than one person got sick enough to puke into the puke receptacles that we did not have. That bus ride was about 22 hours. We crashed in Cuzco for the night to try to 'patch our bones' and got up at 3 to get on a bus to take us to another bus that was all our bus. This happens to be the magical "Jungle Party Bus" There was a little less drinking, a bit more peeing on the side of the road, and way more rain coming in leaky or wont-shut windows. There was also a dance party. The JPB housed us for 29 wonderful hours and had this amazing aroma by the time we finally left in on the outskirts of Pt Maltonado. We took various and sundry forms of transportation to the Madre de Dios river and met up with the research station crew plus boats. The trip up river was about 15 hours with a 12 hour break in the middle known as darkness.


The 'canoes' that hauled us up and down the river.

We left the reasearch station on the 15th in the morning with several bleary eyed passengers and made really good time going down the river. That night we satiated most of our cravings like pizza, french fries, 'good' beer, icecream, and a bit of dancing but a few things like coffee and hot showers had to wait. The next day we flew to Lima. Remember that jungle bus ride that took 29 hours? Well by plane it takes about 45 minutes. Damn. In Lima we picked up the Peruvian Nazi Tour guide and drove to Nazca. At this point we stopped caring how long rides were and only bothered with how much sleep we could get in between her pointless microphone ramblings about land reform. The next day we found a plane or two and did the Nazca lines fly over and got back on the damn bus to drive to Pisco/Paracas/Ica. A night in Paracas (I think, close enough anyways) and then a boat ride in the national park there to see the critters. Then back to the bus and back to Lima for an overnight flight, then to houston and Newark and Hartford. At this point everyone was pretty much home but me who was to exhausted to drive the 3 hours to my house. Instead I crashed at a couple of houses for different length 'naps' and I ferried myself home this afternoon. That is pretty much all the travel so you have some Idea of what days I was where. You should check out a map to see all of the area we covered in our travels. We saw a lot of crap. Sorry there is not much juice to this post but dont worry, more will come later. -Jn


A train of multicars bringing tripmates to the Madre de Dios river.

It occurs to me

(A national park near Paracas on the coast of Peru)


The Desert Coast (08/17/05 Leaving Paracas, Peru)

Bring me round to something new
Toes in cool sand and
I am with you

Dance then on this desert coast
And hold me while the horizion disapears
Lines between fading as night falls

Sand becomes sky and this time...
This time I really can fly

-Jn

Lately. . .

This would be me home, meaning Ipswich. I am going to post a miriad of stories in a very short chunk of time but I have to type them first and I figured I would chapteratize them so you dont go blind staring at a screen for too long. And dont worry I have a million pictures to post too. -Jn

There and back again

I have been to Hell and it looks a lot like Walmart. The road to Hell is also paved a whole lot like 128. Two things in this area I could do without, except walmart is everywhere so you cant get away from it and the pilgrims used 128 to visit the indians on the first thanksgiving and it needed repaved then so I dont think that will ever change. My nice new knee-high black (rubber) boots are the steel toed version which is nice because I have some nut kicking to do around here. Unfortunately I think it is going to have to wait until after I return from Peru because they are already packed. Per tradition I poured myself a glass of kahlua+milk when I returned home. And yes the bug in the bottom of my p-nut butter glass and no I didnt drink him. He looked so serene in the bottom last little remenants of the drink swirling in the eddy that I just left him. I think it would be a good way to go.


-------Time Lapse--------


The sky tonight is full of really bright flashy lights, and Jenna (el perro de LL) is wicked afraid of storms. Poor puppy. I wonder if we get storms down in Peru or just rain? I am now as packed as I can be. My sleeping bag and my toothbrush need crammed in to my over stuffed bag when I am done with them in the morning and I will be on my way. This time I WILL NOT get lost and everything will go according to plan because life works that way. I have no clue what I forgot to pack except a pocket knife and a calculator both of which are at home and the one text book that is most important that didnt come yet. And yeah at this point I am wicked ancy. There will be no sleeping. Which is bad because the next 2+ days are going to be spent traveling probably featuring me as a translator a veces because I am one of the 1.5 people who speak spanish on the trip outside of the proff. God I love life. There was this great little switch in plans and instead of flying from Lima to la Puerto Malanado we are driving. This is stellar because we get to go through the andes!!! and basically just drive through the all of Peru and see what it is about before we hit the jungle. We are gonna be in a nice fancy bus I guess so no chickens and its like a 20 hour trek. We arent even out of the country and plans are changing. I love it. How can people not like to travel. Me and KL were having this discussion today. Apparently I am the only person brave enough to go to Haiti to visit. Why DONT people wanna go to haiti? It's amazing and the people are so beautiful. Sigh. I want to see every square inch of the world. Starting with the mailbox to see if my book came. Lets hope I dont get struck by lightning because that would be a real downer. I probly wont post in the morning but yuns never know. Haha. -Jn

What I meant to say

Last night/ yesterday was a bizarre day. I never made it to walmart and I infact never made it to packing. I just started out upstairs when the yankees fan came back over. (I can't call him Jills friend because he is really more my friend than hers at this point and I have no clue what else to call him though he is much nicer than a YF proper because he prefers football and hates the patriots) He was over for the workday and he was actually going to spend the night here but one of the other random parties of said workday invited him over instead. He knew LL was at work but he stopped by early because he had run out of places to go. So I got to play hostess because my mother has trained me well (mumble mumble #*$&^ groan) to and interuption and an inconvience known as the YF. And the whole time I have Fr Lias in he back ground reminding me to 'Honor all persons'. My vote is still out. If nothing else he is interesting and he asks good questions- which is a well respected quality. He also detests smalltalk (as do I) so we skipped over the weather and what I did today and talked about more important things like serving people with disabilities and why field biology is in general amazing and yeah why the patriots just suck. (HA!)

The cat wanted you to know that:
jukhuuuuuuuuuu
For whatever that is worth.

But like I said my vote is still out. When LL came home small talk kinda seeped into deeper conversation and I transfered my powers of thought to another venue. I felt bad for YF but there wasnt much I can do. LL needs smalltalk as a platform for any deeper thoughts that are to come out later. I'm sure YF will be around at some point in the future cause the hippies have this weird community thing going on apparently and they pop in and out and around for one thing or another. Damn hippies.

I am here until LL gets back with YF and a door in case rotorooter shows up on time (they are already 11 whole minutes late- my goodness) then I am headed out to work on a paper/presentation with the good Dr. B. I honestly only share these seemingly mundane occurances because in actuallity I had a whole different variety of mundane planned out for my week up here.

Oh yeah and I am still having wicked weird dreams. Something is seriously up with those damn poplar trees on the hill back home because I am trying with all of my might to get rid of the damn things subconsciously by blowing them up chopping them down or sending lightning their way. And yes, last night there was even a death maze. But the beat plays on. . . even while I sleep.

Anyways, here is a poem for all of the troubles you went to to read this far. It was my original point to posting but I got lost somewhere in the mix. (I think when there are more people around to talk to the mundane will slip out of the postings-just a hunch)




What I mean to say. . . (7/31/05- Thermarest, bedroom camping)

I promise you
I don't want to...
I didn't look at you that way.

I swear to you
You didn't hear...
That's not what I meant to say.

I never meant
For all of this...
This is unraveling to a mess.

A misplaced touch
Didn't mean much...
Let me tell you 'it couldn't mean less.'

What do I do
To convince you...
Can't you pretend this all away?

-Jn