What I meant to say

Last night/ yesterday was a bizarre day. I never made it to walmart and I infact never made it to packing. I just started out upstairs when the yankees fan came back over. (I can't call him Jills friend because he is really more my friend than hers at this point and I have no clue what else to call him though he is much nicer than a YF proper because he prefers football and hates the patriots) He was over for the workday and he was actually going to spend the night here but one of the other random parties of said workday invited him over instead. He knew LL was at work but he stopped by early because he had run out of places to go. So I got to play hostess because my mother has trained me well (mumble mumble #*$&^ groan) to and interuption and an inconvience known as the YF. And the whole time I have Fr Lias in he back ground reminding me to 'Honor all persons'. My vote is still out. If nothing else he is interesting and he asks good questions- which is a well respected quality. He also detests smalltalk (as do I) so we skipped over the weather and what I did today and talked about more important things like serving people with disabilities and why field biology is in general amazing and yeah why the patriots just suck. (HA!)

The cat wanted you to know that:
jukhuuuuuuuuuu
For whatever that is worth.

But like I said my vote is still out. When LL came home small talk kinda seeped into deeper conversation and I transfered my powers of thought to another venue. I felt bad for YF but there wasnt much I can do. LL needs smalltalk as a platform for any deeper thoughts that are to come out later. I'm sure YF will be around at some point in the future cause the hippies have this weird community thing going on apparently and they pop in and out and around for one thing or another. Damn hippies.

I am here until LL gets back with YF and a door in case rotorooter shows up on time (they are already 11 whole minutes late- my goodness) then I am headed out to work on a paper/presentation with the good Dr. B. I honestly only share these seemingly mundane occurances because in actuallity I had a whole different variety of mundane planned out for my week up here.

Oh yeah and I am still having wicked weird dreams. Something is seriously up with those damn poplar trees on the hill back home because I am trying with all of my might to get rid of the damn things subconsciously by blowing them up chopping them down or sending lightning their way. And yes, last night there was even a death maze. But the beat plays on. . . even while I sleep.

Anyways, here is a poem for all of the troubles you went to to read this far. It was my original point to posting but I got lost somewhere in the mix. (I think when there are more people around to talk to the mundane will slip out of the postings-just a hunch)




What I mean to say. . . (7/31/05- Thermarest, bedroom camping)

I promise you
I don't want to...
I didn't look at you that way.

I swear to you
You didn't hear...
That's not what I meant to say.

I never meant
For all of this...
This is unraveling to a mess.

A misplaced touch
Didn't mean much...
Let me tell you 'it couldn't mean less.'

What do I do
To convince you...
Can't you pretend this all away?

-Jn