There were no words last night. By the time I made it upstairs I couldnt even think in full sentences. But I am pleased to announce that the beat that plays in my head has come back. See there is this beat that plays in my head all the time and when I am on brain-saver mode it tends to come out in some manner. (I think it is a leftover from when Jeff usto play drums on my head in class but I have definately modified it since then) Except I realized down in Honduras that I could not procure it no matter how hard I tried. I lost my beat. I figured out then that it had been gone for some time too. Honestly it was like finding out one of your organs has been missing for several weeks. I was pretty torn up about it but you dont run around telling people that your beat is missing. They look at you funnier than normal and its disconcerting. But last night it just sorta came back at random like a lost puppy wandering home and it made me feel all docile and pleasant and I fell asleep tappin on my leg. I still had wicked bizarre dreams that included the Bubba trying to cut my hammock into pieces among other oddities and I was still all riled when I woke up.
But I went to church. And Father Lias is back. And all is well with the world. Church was everything it should be and everything I needed it to be. I think sometimes the stand sit sing pray kneel is like hitting a reset button, especially when you focus on making the words and actions mean what they are supposed to mean. Gets your priorities straight. And Fr Lias is so good at really digging into the points and meanings of scripture tying the old testament with the new and then with today and its like BANG yes I have seen this and I am seeing this now and I know I will see this. And you get a good mix of conviction and commission and congradulation plus a snippet of advice for someone else if you pay attention. And the benediction today was one of those really woof ones. I feel like I can save the world. . . and that I am supposed to.
So now I guess I am pissed but not viscious, and concerned but not anxious. I am still really figity but I can't really help that one (and I dont know of a do not figet comandment). I also got to see 4 and the good Dr. B (with son in tow) and KMac which was a complete surprise. Unfortunately she was really sick but I drove her home (she rode her bike to church) and put her in the care of the bf and she will survive because she can't help herself.
And I think I am going to get my nose pierced. But im not going to dye my hair blue. It all has to wait until after Peru anyways. For now I am going to finish packing which includes a trip to the amazing establishment known as walmart (gag me with a bloody bandaid) and maybe the fidgets will subside.