Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Mental vomit

This is very much like purging my soul. Let me spit out all of the little bits and pieces so that they don't rot inside of me. A rush of poetry, old and new, to excersize the demons that overstimulate the muse. Then maybe I can sleep tonight so that I can work tomorrow. Unless this plan backfires and the muse just torments me that much more.

This one is complicated. ALl of the pieces go together and belong together at least right now but I cannot make them sit in an ordered row. They all exsist together at the same time and the only reason they end up linear is because paper and computers make words function in that way. I might split the pieces up later but you will just have to wait for that. I put it in the best linear order i could come up with but feel free to shuffle in your head. Everytime I read it, I move chunks around again.

Rabbit Hole Thoughts

Spin the world once
How pale is my face?
I haven't seen the light
In a fist full of days

I am tearing down towers
Faster than I rebuild
Reusing broken pieces
Not minding the sick tilt

The world is just a name
I play my life as a game
And all that matters
Is the mad hatter
And his tea parties in the rain

I guess I missed the point
Maybe the swords too small
Or maybe when it comes like this
There is no point at all

But these thoughts just won't wane
I'm so sure I'm to blame
And the ways and the means
Are just dueling queens
Trying to run themselves lame

I've stepped off from reality
I don't know which way is down
I was sinking toward the bottom
But I thought I'd be there by now

(08-24-05 Ipswich)


Ramblin' Ed said...

Thanks for the vomit image. Like life isn't rough enough. Haha.

I'm thinking that this is really good. And I don't think there needs to be any particular order since there really isn't any "story" being told. It just kinda wraps around like a sarong and any point is as good as the next. I'd personally lose the whole verse about "these thoughts won't wane" because, while the idea is OK, the wordsmithing is not up to par with all of the other verses. But, since I know you are exactly like me, which is to say, it's out there now and I won't get back to it anyway, I expect my point mainly influences me.

Coal Miner's Daughter said...

Yeah I know. It is my least favorite little bit but you still feel for your least favorite body part and wouldnt exactly cut it off. And I really like the image of the red queen (not the mother) and the white queen running to outpace each other without ever going anywhere. Like I said this one could still be altered. I thought about snatching the 2 longer sections and putting them together in a more heavily wonderlanded set. But once you lose a frame of mind it is hard to go back and drastically change things or finish up. I fell asleep on this one and I still feel like there is at least one something missing. I will get back to it eventually but I'm a whole lot perkier now than I was then. -Jn

Ramblin' Ed said...

Somehow I don't see you as perky. Hyper? Yes. Whirlwind? Yes. Perky? Well, that conjurs up too much of a Legally Blonde inmage to fit.

Ramblin' Ed said...

Or even as pesky. I can see that too. But not perky, if I haven't said so already.

Coal Miner's Daughter said...

I can only pass for remotely perky when I have had a lot of caffiene but its the idea of the thing. That is the direction I head. Pick a different word for me if you like. Thats just the word of choice right now. - Jn