right brain...left brain...brain left

There are a lot of things in my happy little world that translate into math. I don't do it often for the general populous but I really do go there all the time. I mean come on...I suck at it but I like it anyways. That statement could just as easily be about life or my linear algebra class. So right nowlife is like a step function. I am jumping from one state of emotion to the next and flatlining without the nice little transitiony pieces in between. (This is not the same as the sine wave bouncing up and down that I was doing earlier this year) Alternately I'm like a matrix with complex numbers that circles the origin its whole life in an elipse. Sometimes a little more positive than negative or the other way around. Never reaching zero and only exisiting in discrete incriments. These are really two completely different things and I don't know if adding them together would describe life better.

Ah well. In reality I am an awful lot like a complex number in general. You know, the imaginary number i, also known as the square root of negative one. Don't try to plug that one in to your standard calculator. It hurts them. They cry inside. Its like you trying to picture infinity in your brain. Poor little calculators can't handle it unless their programers gave them a cop out 'drain' for all the extra stuff in the form of i. In reality it's not imaginary. It's as real as every other number (in fact their reality is often questioned as well). The only problem with it is that it is a two dimensional number shoved in to a one dimensional space. Of course it gets a little ancy and uncomfortable and doesn't play nice with all the other numbers. Y'all stuck it in to a system of rules it was never designed to follow. No one likes that. When you make a jump up to two dimensional numbers i can relax and unfold a little bit and those silly numberline bound numbers aren't as afraid of the open space as they thought they would be. Everyone is a lot happier and there is peace in the number kingdom. But no one really wants to think in two dimensional numbers. When you are counting the points on a nice buck you don't really want any of the points to jump off the numberline and no one will believe you when you say it was a 10 point plus 3i.

I have also been spending a lot of time living in other people's heads. I am trying to write a play and another play and another play. One just needs polished and then I have to decide if it is any good. The next needs a lot of bits fitted in. The last needs everything from the bottom up except the framing ideas and is probably at least a year in the future if I dont abandon it completely. The one that is the hardest is the middle one. There is the problem with trying to understand what she is thinking and feeling and translate that into words on a page but she is more compartmentalized than I have been in a long time and it is hard to not think with my whole brain while I am in hers. Then I have to write poetry for her which is about the only activity that does use her whole brain only I have to lift it off of her shoulders and shift it up and sideways a little so that the words aren't too painful for her to put down into a notebook. It's more than a little complicated and she is really confused and somewhat depressed so me dabbling in her brain isn't doing me any emotional favors.

In other news there is a 104.5 now. Born last night. 4 called me at 1am to let me know which was sweet except I was sleeping. I have finished the Alice books again. And who knows I might just start them again again. My housemates all ran away this week leaving an empty house. And there are less than 3 weeks (is less than 3 weeks?) of school left until graduation. I know for a fact that some of these days are 2 (or more) dimensional because they are moving in directions that they couldn't otherwise and it makes me sort of giddy and uneasy. Like the Monday that didn't exist for instance. 9 days until my birthday...which I have decided that I don't care about at all. I am too tired to plan something so if yunz want an excuse to party- you do it. Also the iggies have worked themselves up to free reign in my room again and they seem to enjoy my company more though if they keep getting lost around bed time I might have to rethink the matter.

I am actually going to go study now...mrrrrr
-Jn